What I didn't expect from playing the artistic role of 'prophet'
I enjoy experimental writing and art and I had this idea to build a digital story out of music videos. What I didn't expect was for them to eerily "predict the future". But did they really?
I wanted to take a different tone this week with my writing as I wanted to write about my own experiences doing creative work. If I am honest, the idea for my series didn’t come from nothing. It was shown to me during (what I now know) was a ‘manic episode’ related to my (at that time) undiagnosed bipolar (type 1 - the worst one, apologies to bipolar 2 sufferers as I know it’s very debilitating too) anyway, I saw ‘visions’ more in my mind than in my sight. These I know now to be an effect of having bipolar disorder. However, at the time I saw it as a divine experience and if I’m being honest, I still view it that way a bit.
It was just the feeling of euphoria (the mania) that made it feel so spiritual. There was, in the ‘background’ of all of this, an idea to create something out of videos and music. This was at a time when my phone was a colour flip phone and I think internet consisted of a basic browser. You didn’t watch videos or anything on your phone at that time. So obviously this was something stored away in my mind to many years later.
The other part of this ‘vision’ was that of a generation - either to come or existing? To be honest it was like I was being shown many things I just didn’t understand. One of the most pertinent to today’s events in Israel and Gaza was one of bright lights chasing each other. I remember it vividly. There was a ‘threatening’ light (it felt threatening) and then another light came to it and they ‘fought’ each other. I thought I was seeing “angels” fighting.
This is not a happy experience for me though. This was my first of two hospitalisations (well two and a half, but that’s another story). The second came at a time when (don’t laugh, this bit is important) the singer Lorde came onto the music scene. Her video clip made me hear the words “he is Risen” (“Risen indeed” is the usual Christian response).
Now I am a visual artist as well as being a writer, and I have worked with digital art as well as photography. When I saw a singer called “Lorde” it made me immediately think of the words in the bible:
Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
Mathew 7:21
Then it also made me think of this ‘hidden generation’ that I had been ‘shown’ many years before. I think it was more than a decade for sure. Yes, well Royals was released in 2013 so about 10 years between my hospitalisation and seeing this music. This is when I completed this work called “Salvation”, which mentions the 144000.
For the uninitiated, the 144000 are mentioned in the New Testament book of revelations. They are a generation among the tribes of Israel “sealed” by angels. Equally distributed among the 12 tribes of ancient Israel. This was, of course, part of my psychosis caused by my bipolar, which was still, in 2018 undiagnosed. However, I must say, that without having manic episodes I never would have created certain art that I have.
See the series “Angel’s Lie” on AVAVA Gallery
To me, I was just working on my art and creative endeavours when I would, eventually create a trilogy of music video based creative series (plus one experimental one called “The Orange Sequence”). That wasn’t surprising. What was surprising was that it would “predict” a few major events such as Covid - 19 (this post was published just prior to Covid-19) and the Ukraine - Russia war.
What to me, was myself being a parody almost of old testament prophets became creepily true. But what was the point? The only thing I had really gotten out of my faith was hospitalisations and creative works nobody cared about except a very very few.
Well, there was one more part of the “vision” I mentioned at the start of this post. That was a very beautiful woman. If there is a God (and I honestly don’t know but I think there is) then they know me well. I have always liked women and I don’t know if I ever saw myself “settling down” etc. However, when I met my future wife (we were both lured onto plenty of fish by our Guardian Angels I guess) it all clicked into place.
We now have two beautiful kids, I’m medicated and managing my bipolar disorder well, so life is great. So great in fact I was shown it 20 or so years ago. I know 100% for sure that most of what I have experienced is my bipolar disorder. However, there are so many unexplained things. I remember that in the Bible it says of God that they will show us the end from the beginning so that we may know they are Lord.
So, I don’t know, I guess I always dreamed of having a genuine experience of God and I have been blessed enough to have that. However, it has been nothing but a curse in my life and of course I wish that it had never happened. But then I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this watching my youngest play lego would I?
Have you had any genuine experiences with “God”, “Angels” or whatever you want to call it?
Thanks for reading and please subscribe and check out my other articles. I write a bit on religion, mental health and other bits and pieces. Have an amazing day!